“Do you want to use cruise control?”
“No!” If I weren’t too busy driving, I’d throw my husband a death glare.
This is a familiar discussion between us. My husband espouses the values of using cruise control in our American car. I shut him down.
Cross-cultural relationships are many things (challenging, exciting, exhausting) but they’re never boring. Even something as simple as driving a car can turn into a philosophical discussion.
Being German, I only ever drove stick shift cars before moving to the US. And it only recently occurred to me that there’s more to these car-related discussions than meets the eye.
Manual or automatic?
What I like about driving a manual car is precisely what my husband hates about it: it’s more work. For instance, if I want to speed up (not that that’s something a German would ever be tempted to do), I might have to shift gears. That’s a decision I wouldn’t have to make in an automatic car.
Now, when it comes to driving a car itself, manual or automatic is just a matter of preference. You do you! No value judgment there (I reserve that for my husband, hah!).
When we use automatic vs. manual as a metaphor for life, it becomes something else: a powerful choice.
We can live our lives on autopilot (which can save energy) or we can decide to take charge (which is harder but more deliberate).
5 questions to ask yourself
Here are some questions that can help you determine to what extent you’re currently the person at the wheel in your own life:
- Do you have a clear sense of where you want to go?
- Who’s making the decisions in your life? (We’re always influenced by other people and circumstances and that’s perfectly fine. Still, the ultimate responsibility for our lives rests within ourselves).
- Is the speed you’re currently going at in your life sustainable? Or are you burning too much energy?
- Are you going slower than you like? Would you prefer to go faster?
- Do you currently want to go at a consistent speed (using “cruise control”) or do you want to adjust your speed based on the circumstances of life? (Either one is fine… it should just be a conscious choice.)
If you only have time to answer one question, focus on the first one. After all, as Frank Tyger put it:
“A driving ambition is of little use if you’re on the wrong road.”
If you want my help in getting on the right road (or the right gear or speed), I'd love to connect with you. You can find more about my coaching here.
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So true! It’s amazing the similarities of how someone lives life and drives a car.
Yeah, it’s fascinating! Thanks for your comment, Kim!