A few weeks ago, my family faced a sudden medical crisis when my mother-in-law fell into a coma. This experience was a real-time test of the principles I teach. In fact, I just published a full guide on how to focus on work when a loved one is suffering. Think of that article as the "how-to," and think of the email below as the raw, in-the-moment "what it feels like."

I’m sharing it now, not as a live report, but as an honest look at how we can navigate our work when life is falling apart... and how we can find grace in being "good enough."

Have you ever felt bad because you’re not doing your best at work?

A while ago, someone I'll call Nick told me he wasn’t doing his best in his job. This was really unusual for him, since he liked his work and was good at it. He mentioned that he was navigating an impending divorce and just couldn’t give his work his all.

Nick’s situation is a classic example of the immense challenge of working during a personal crisis, and it felt incredibly relatable to me at the time I wrote this. You see, someone I cared about a lot had been in a coma for almost a week, and this entire situation was really hard.

A few months ago, I committed to sending the people in my community (i.e., you!) an email every other Tuesday. To me, this is a meaningful commitment, not an unwanted obligation. I like the work I do, and I want to help people.

I briefly considered doing nothing that week. But that didn’t feel good. Now, as I was sitting here composing the original email, I was very aware that (just like Nick) this was not my best.

Here’s what to keep in mind if you are feeling guilty for not being productive.

The Myth of Your 'Absolute Best'

We live with a constant, underlying pressure to be productive. This creates a conflict: what happens when life makes giving 100% impossible?

The key is to understand that something doesn’t have to be everything to be better than nothing.

There are two “bests”:

1. Everything: Your absolute best (in an ideal situation).
2. Something: Your best under the current circumstances.

People often conflate these two, and it creates unnecessary pressure and tension. This internal battle between our ideal self and our current self is where research on self-compassion becomes so vital. Studies consistently show that being kind to ourselves during times of struggle is a key ingredient for resilience. Embracing the good enough principle is a powerful act of self-compassion.

A 5-Step Framework for When You're Overwhelmed

Here’s a process to ask yourself if you find yourself in this situation. This is how to be productive when overwhelmed without burning yourself out.

1. What’s your “everything” (your absolute best)?

For instance: “In an ideal situation, I would spend 2 hours on preparing this presentation and practicing it a few times in front of an audience.”

2. What situation is currently keeping you from your absolute best?

For instance: “I’m feeling really sad about my uncle’s death and want to help my aunt with the funeral preparations.”

3. What would it look like if you did nothing?

Sometimes, doing nothing is a valid choice, especially in a deep crisis. However, often the alternative to "everything" isn't "nothing," but "something."

It's important to distinguish this from a different kind of challenge: the general slump where you feel stuck and directionless. For those times, when the problem isn't a crisis but a lack of momentum, the solution is often just to take any small action. I explore this concept, inspired by Mark Manson, in my article on the powerful 'Do Something' principle for making progress.

But in our current scenario, the question is about choosing a path when you're emotionally overwhelmed.

For instance: “I could take time off and just let my colleague handle the presentation. However, I’m better equipped to give this presentation, and the topic is dear to my heart.”

4. What is “something” you can do under the current circumstances?

This is about showing up when you can't give 100%. What does that look like in practice? For instance: “I can spend 30 minutes on the presentation, and then practice it once by myself.”

5. How could this “something” still make a positive difference?

For instance: “This presentation is really about starting a conversation, and as long as I give a good enough version, we will be able to have a good discussion afterward.”

Takeaway: The Power of 'Something'

The original email I wrote? It wasn’t my everything. I have written better articles before. I could have written a better article… maybe in a few weeks.

But it was the best I could do right then, and that was significant, too. It was something.

Just like Nick, I couldn’t do everything, but I could do something.

And that’s good enough.

Warmly,
Louise

An Update: Since I wrote this email, my mother-in-law has passed away. The painful experience of her time in a coma and the immediate aftermath was a reminder that the principles I share about are more than just theories. Embracing "something" instead of "everything" has helped me show up for the people I care about during an impossible time. I hope it can do the same for you.

Gentle Reminder: The guidance shared in this article is intended to provide new perspectives for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional mental health advice or therapy. If you are struggling with mental health issues, please seek the support of a qualified therapist or mental health professional. Your well-being matters!

What If 'Good Enough' Could Help You Build a Great Life?

The principles in this article are lifelines during a crisis. But what about building a life and work style where a crisis is the exception, not the rule?

My 6-month coaching program is a journey in exactly that: creating a foundation of soulful, sustainable success. Together, we build the systems and self-trust you need to navigate challenges with grace and stay true to yourself, always.

If having that kind of compassionate support sounds appealing, I invite you to learn more about my offer here.