A while ago, I coached a client, let’s call her Mary (not her real name). Mary had recently retired early, and now got to enjoy life to the fullest. 🏖️ Think: meeting friends at the pool, doing morning Yoga classes, spending time with her husband…
The only problem? Mary didn’t feel fulfilled. Something was missing in her life.
Most people would think that my client was living the dream, and yet Mary was feeling increasingly dissatisfied.
What on earth was going on?
We need 3 types of nourishment
Our culture is so focused on money that it’s normal for us to assume that that’s the main thing that matters, at least when it comes to our work in the world. That’s why it’s common to assume someone like Mary should be happy… after all, she has more than enough in the bank account.
💡 The reality is that money is only one form of nourishment we need.
As my first business coach, Dr. Brian Whetten, once explained to me, we can get paid for our work in 3 ways:
- money,
- growth, or
- contribution.
And, from the perspective of our soul, money is the least important of these.
What a toddler can teach us about finding meaningful work
The "3 nourishment" framing explains why my toddler daughter behaves the way she does: whenever we get home with a bag of groceries, our little one will try her hardest to help carry groceries up the stairs… even if, initially, the bag of apples was almost as big as her.
From a purely transactional perspective (the way our culture often tries to make sense of the world and human behavior), my daughter’s actions make no sense. She’s too young to need pocket money, so she doesn’t get paid for helping out. We’re also not giving her more blueberries (her favorite currency) for trying to be helpful.
However, even though she’s not receiving cash or blueberries, she’s still getting payment for lugging apples up the stairs — she’s getting paid in growth (“I can do this”) and contribution (“I’m helping mommy and daddy”).
Just like people who are comfortably retired, toddlers don't need to earn an income. Yet they, like all of us, need the other two types of nourishments to really thrive.
💡 My client Mary was feeling dissatisfied in life because she was lacking these two forms of payment: growth and contribution.
Her financial situation didn’t make up for the lack of payment (or rather, nourishment) she was receiving in these other two areas.
How to apply this to your own life
If, like Mary, you are finding yourself in a situation where you have enough financially, yet are dissatisfied, here’s how to apply this insight into your own life:
- Assess your situation: On a scale of 1-5, rank how much growth and contribution you are currently receiving.
- Brainstorm ways you can experience more growth in your life: This doesn’t have to be through work — examples include taking up a new spiritual practice, learning something new, or doing something that takes you out of your comfort zone.
- Brainstorm ways you can experience a bigger sense of contribution: Unlike growth, contribution primarily happens through our doing (or, as one could say, our work) in the world. Examples of contributing include writing a blog, helping a friend move, or doing volunteer work.
- Take action: Look through the list of ideas you just came up with for 2 and 3. Out of all these, pick the one that feels the most exciting. Then, take the first step towards putting it into practice. For instance, if you decide you want to volunteer, you could start researching volunteer opportunities.
Summary
Even if your financial needs are met through other sources, our work in the world is a great way to receive growth and contribution: after I helped Mary get clear on what she was passionate about, and she started a blog to share her insights, she felt much more fulfilled.
Warmly,
Louise
P.S.: Did this resonate?
I help spiritual people who want to do more meaningful work. If you would like to receive support on your path to more growth and contribution, find out how I can help you
here.
