My Philosophy

My take is that people are stuck in work that's not right for them due to a combination of internal and external factors. When people do the work that's meant for them, their work is an external expression of who they are. In other words, a person's external doing is in alignment with the internal being.

Finding this level of alignment first requires clarity about one's inner being. However, we live in a culture that doesn't encourage people to be fully honest with themselves.

When people find themselves in an unfulfilling or miserable work situation, it's generally because a past version of themselves either lacked internal clarity about what work would be right for them, or the external support and encouragement to follow through on that clarity.

While the past always influences the present, this is particularly pronounced when it comes to work. If someone has a university degree, they made the decision to get that degree many years ago, perhaps when they had less internal clarity.

In other words, a previous lack of internal clarity or external support got carried forward into the present where it perpetuates the situation.

For growth-oriented people, there's an additional challenge as they tend to become more and more of themselves over time. Therefore, even if a path they chose years ago was right for them then, it might not be right anymore.

If a growth-oriented person is unhappy in a work situation their past self would have liked, this is not a failure. It's often a sign of the growth and transformation they have gone through. Now that they have made these internal changes, it's time to align the external world with their authentic self.

When it comes to work, our culture generally encourages people to fit into an existing mold. But imagine if someone just handed you a random pair of shoes and demanded that you start wearing it... without any regard for the actual size and shape of your feet. Would it be any surprise if you ended up with sore feet and blisters?

Now imagine you had never worn well-fitting shoes in your life—because you live in a culture where shoes get distributed based on the random system I just described.

That's essentially what's going on with work. Throughout most of human history, random external factors usually decided what work you would end up doing. If you were the firstborn son of a king, you were expected to become a king yourself (even if, in your heart of hearts, you'd rather be a monk). If you were born as the daughter of a seamstress, chances are you'd become a seamstress (even if your inherent leadership skills rivalled Cleopatra's).

Today, there's thankfully a lot more choice and social mobility in the workplace. Today, culture tell you that you can be anything you want to be... as long as you want to become a doctor, a lawyer, or an engineer. While I'm exaggerating, the underlying cultural assumption—that people should fit into a pre-existing work-mold, rather than that work should fit people—hasn't changed completely.

These days, you're still expected to fit into a mold, you just get a bit more say about what that mold is for you.

People who are unhappy with their work situation are the ones who notice that misalignment: their "mass-produced shoes" just doesn't fit their feet.

If people in these situations don’t address the misalignment between internal being and external doing, the worst they can expect is cascading unhappiness.

Some people might be able to get away with lying to themselves their entire lives. Soul-seekers and growth-oriented people aren't.

Because they care so much about being true to themselves, they aren't able to suppress their authentic work unhappiness over the long run. Instead, this unhappiness seeps into different aspects of their lives and sometimes has a negative impact on relationships or even their health due to the correlation between work stress and certain health issues.

Soul seekers want to grow and expand so if they feel stuck in a situation, they enter a downward spiral where these things get worse over time. Sometimes the universe (or their soul or subconscious mind) ends up forcing their hand through a crisis. When that happens, they might get fired from the job they hate, or end up having to close down the business they have come to detest.

While this frees them from the outdated external expression that has become their cage, it's often much harder to make changes from a state of reaction and while in an emergency state than to do so proactively.

If, instead, they manage to create alignment between their being and doing, the best they can expect is to experience more peace and inner joy. Their work life will start to feel more like a flow and less like a fight as they find it easier to stay on top of things.

This helps them have more time and space for doing the things they really want to do, including having loving relationships, giving their gifts to the world and contributing in meaningful ways.

What I think these people need most to handle this is compassionate and encouraging support that helps them get internal clarity, face their fears, and make external changes.

Work is an area that brings up a lot of survival conditioning, as does the thought of doing things differently from the mainstream. That's why it's so important to have supportive people in one's corner when making work-related changes. This helps people feel safe and supported while making deep changes.

Once that is in place, it's crucial to remove the blocks that stop people from seeing their own truth more clearly.

During human history, it has often not been safe to fully be oneself. Survival usually required people to do whatever it took to fit in. This is the root cause of a lot of the fear people feel when they contemplate being more of themselves.

Instead of hearing their own voice, people are often influenced by what others recommend, think, or advice. In order to remove these external influences and other blocks to internal clarity, they need an effective energy clearing process.

Underlying this entire process is a lot of fear. Because culture doesn't have a good way of dealing with fear, this fear usually gets suppressed.

To make positive changes, this fear needs to be addressed. The key to dealing with fear in a compassionate and effective manner is to neither fight it nor avoid it, as both of these approaches just increase the level of fear.

Instead of treating fear like an enemy that needs to be overcome or avoided, it's more effective to treat it like an informant that has potentially useful information to share. This noncombative approach reduces the grip fear has on people, and makes it easier to take action.

When external support, inner clarity, and a better relationship to fear come together, it's becomes a lot easier to take action that creates alignment between being and doing, or between one's true self and the work one does in the world.

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My perspective on work unhappiness: what's going on, what's likely to happen, and what's needed?

The diagnosis: Why doing work that feels good is so hard

The prognosis: What's likely to happen (worst- and best-case-scenario)

The prescription: What's needed

What's next for you?

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